Dress Code: Interior Designer Alyssa Kapito on the Art of Being Intentionally Understated

Allow Dress Code to demystify and debunk what to wear when and where, and how to wear it, as advised by those whose innate style never fails to inspire and influence.

For New York-based Alyssa Kapito, her personal style is an extension of the pristine design projects her fan-base have come to know her for. Quintessentially Uptown with an element of ease, the most-loved pieces in her closet prove that an outfit that whispers is just as impactful as one that shouts. A go-to collaborator and party host for brands including Savette and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s Mèmoire, here she discusses how she approaches making it all look easy.

Describe your usual day-to-day style—do you make an effort even when you don’t have to go anywhere or see anyone?

My style is pretty simple and consistent—I’m very drawn to pieces that I can wear over and over. I usually rotate through wide-leg trousers, a white t-shirt, a cashmere sweater, and an oversized button-down. I’ve also always been obsessed with coats and suiting, and I’ve built up a collection of beautiful jackets and outerwear over the years that I wear on rotation. I tend to keep my clothes for a very long time. There’s a lot of The Row, Prada, Margiela’s Hermès and archival Yves Saint Laurent, and I’ll mix them in with lesser-known Swedish and French brands for basics.

When you want to feel confident—what boxes does your outfit need to tick?

It has to be effortless and comfortable, but still polished. If I’m constantly adjusting something—or even thinking about what I’m wearing too much—I’m not happy. Beautiful tailoring is essential. I’d much rather wear something simple that fits impeccably than something overly complicated. My shoes are usually as minimal as possible—a satin heeled mule, a sleek black boot, a white sneaker, or a very pared-back stiletto. I also don’t wear a ton of jewelry, and if I do, it’s super intentional.

A breakfast event pops up for tomorrow. What’s a failsafe outfit you might turn to for an early morning occasion when you want to feel polished?

Probably a beautifully cut trouser, some kind of masculine shirting situation, and a long coat draped over my shoulders. I love monochromatic dressing because it feels calm, chic, and it’s not trying too hard. I’m usually in a block heel, and my hair is almost always exactly the same: straight, down, middle part. I don’t even own a curling iron; that feels too overdone on me.

What type of dress code fills you with dread? And what’s your workaround for that?

Unpopular opinion: but rigid, no-stretch jeans fill me with dread. Any dress code that somehow requires suffering through a tight waistband for six straight hours feels deeply unreasonable to me. I own them, and I'll wear them reluctantly, but only if the event really calls for it.

A luncheon is on the calendar. How might you approach putting together a look for that?

Lunch-time dressing is really about polish in daylight, so I think about absolute quality first and foremost. A beautiful skirt with a knit, or a sculptural dress. I also sometimes think about how something will look after being seated at a table for an hour or two. Anything that wrinkles badly should be saved for a cocktail party where you’ll mostly be standing.

What are your thoughts on costume parties? All in with the DIY, or politely decline?

I always admire people who fully commit, as it takes a lot of effort to do that well. I’m usually panic-ordering something from Amazon the day before. I wish I were a crafty DIY person, but sadly I’m not. That said, I would never decline an invite just because I didn’t have a something to wear—that’s not my style. In fact, it feels a bit lame to me! If I’m in a bind, I’ll usually lean into something chic and slightly abstract instead of showing up in a full, literal costume. Think: vaguely thematic woman in a good outfit…

The 5 p.m. slump has hit, but a dinner party is on the cards. What will energize you when shifting from day to night?

A quick reset helps more than anything—washing your face, jumping in the shower for a quick second, redoing makeup, changing shoes, putting on jewelry. Even if the outfit stays mostly the same, those little transitions change your mood completely.

You’ve had no time to think about what to wear for an after-work gathering but you want to feel chic: what outfit formula always works for you in a bind?

A black trouser, and one of my long evening jackets, with maybe just a bralette underneath. And a gorgeous but simple clutch. It’s impossible to fail in that combination. If the proportions are right and the accessories are considered, it always works.

What’s your read on cocktail attire, in general? What’s a failsafe outfit you tend to rinse and repeat?

Cocktail attire is where I have the most fun. You can be elegant, a little sexy, and slightly overdressed, and nobody questions it. My failsafe is usually a long black column skirt or a tailored trouser with an interesting going-out top. I’ll add a sharp blazer, and something silky or slightly unexpected that feels special. I like pieces that feel understated at first glance, but incredibly chic once you really look at them.

What about black tie? Do you like to take risks, or play it pretty safe?

I’m fairly disciplined with black tie and it’s mostly about classic elegance for me. There’s something so graceful about a simple, perfectly cut black gown. I’ll wear my hair straight as usual, and great earrings or a bold cuff. I’ll stray from that formula only for something truly exquisite and special that I absolutely need.

What after-dark pieces get the most wear in your wardrobe, year after year?

Tailored long jackets in satin, pony hair, and silk; crepe trousers; sheer tops; and great evening shoes. I’m really into a silk scarf with a fringe right now. I have them in ivory and black from the Ralph Lauren men’s store and I either wear them so they fall down my back or as belts around a coat or top.

Do you have a favorite party-ready piece or accessory that always inspires conversation with strangers?

The Row’s Inrou tiny lacquer bag in crocodile from 2018 with an amazing black tassel that I bought at Barneys—RIP! It’s so beautiful and so absurdly small that it genuinely makes people laugh. It was meant to be the size of a cigarette case and was made when the designers still smoked. People are always asking what I actually keep in it, and the answer is basically nothing, except a teeny tiny comb from Officine Universelle Buly that I bought specifically because it fits inside. I’m still constantly searching resale sites for the eel skin version in beige or red, which I tragically did not buy at the time.

Very little! I usually have a lip stain, a mint, and a hair comb.